Sooo my first time was with my current boyfriend, who I have been best friends with for about a year. Anywaaay! It wasn’t exactly planned buut we kinda both knew it was going to happen. His family was home so we went outside to lay on his trampoline with a blanket for a while and then we started making out and stufffs when it was dark outside (too dark for anyone to see and he has tall fences). I was wearing only his cardigan and we had a blanket over us and it hurt pretty damn bad but only for a while :) I don’t regret it at all and I’m super open about this stuff anyways. It was great! I wouldn’t want to have lost it to anyone else or anywhere else :)

My first time was tonight. I went over to my boyfriend of a year and 7 months’s house, and we were watching a movie. We’ve been talking about having sex for a while now, and tonight, I told him i wanted to. I was unsure if I wanted to do it, but I done it anyways. He didn’t pressure me, I just wanted to do it to see what the fuss was about. So he went slowly, like I asked, and it hurt very bad. It was a pain I cannot describe. He was very nervous about hurting me… It took a few minutes to get it completey in, and then I asked him to stop, because it hurt too bad. He stopped, and then we just laid there, cuddled, and finished watching the movie. It don’t sound like anything too special, but it was. It was the best i could have asked for, and I’m so happy I lost it to him.

He was my first real boyfriend and we had been dating about a month and a half. It was always obvious that he wanted to moved a lot faster than I ever did. I went over his house thinking it was going to be just a normal night at his house. Once his parents went upstairs we put in a movie to watch. It wasn’t long before we were making out and things began to step up to the next level. He fingered me and I gave him a hand job but, he gave me the look and pulled down his pants farther. It was a night of firsts. I gave my first blow job and after he came we both looked at each other and laughed. He changed his shirt and we “watched” the movie some more but the sexual tension between us was too great. We began making out again and things escalated quickly. Before I knew it my pants and underwear were completely off because my underwear kept getting in his way. I knew what was happening and what he was trying to do but, I denied it to myself and continued to let it happen. I was on top and it just wasn’t working. He flipped me over on my back and that’s when he really tried to get it in. He ate me out and fingered me more to try and loosen me up. I was a little hesitant and almost told him to stop but, I wanted to trust him. I’m still not sure if I consider myself a virgin or not. Maybe I’m half a virgin. I don’t think he got it in all the way but, it did kind of hurt. He pulled out before he came but, when I left his house, driving home I had a major freak out. I was convinced I was going to get pregnant and began searching frantically on the internet for confirmation. The next day I even thought about running to the store to buy plan B. I did calm down afterwards and convinced myself everything was going to be okay. We didn’t talk about it or plan it before. I’m still not sure if I regret my decision because I do feel really stupid about not stopping him and telling him to use a condom because I am not on birth control. But, I know when it does happen again I’m not making the same mistake twice and using protection.  

Congratulations!

It was our five month anniversary and my parents were out to go to dinner and a movie. My mother told me in advance of their date, so I had told my boyfriend that it would be the perfect day for us. We had wanted to do it for a while, and this was finally our chance (coincidentally on our five month anniversary). It was planned for a Friday afternoon in early November and I remember anticipating the day all week. As the final hours began ticking down, I became more and more frightened, but I had to make sure my plan was perfect. I went home and told my brother that he should go to the skate park and I’d pay him 20 dollars to stay there until I came to pick him up. He agreed. After my parents left, I rented a movie On Demand and fast-forwarded it to the very end to have an alibi. Everything was OK. And then I remember pacing back and forth in the front room waiting for him to show up. When he did, I kept my cool. I opened the front door and we greeted each other, my dog barking at our feet mercilessly. Immediately after our hellos, he pushed me up against the closest wall and kissed me passionately for a few moments. When we pulled apart, we looked at each other for a second before taking the short walk to my bedroom. Right when we got in there, we began stripping ourselves. The light was off in my room but a significant amount of light shone through the window, giving the room a pale blue glow. I lay on the bed naked only minutes after his initial arrival. He prepared the condom as I just lay there biting my nails. And eventually it was set so he tried putting it in, but it hurt and I told him to go slow, and we both couldn’t decide who should put it in, so we were both tugging on it. And the nerves were killing both of us, him especially because of the pressure to perform. Within minutes, it was over, before he was even in all the way. We were both shocked and confused. And he rolled over and lay next to me. We both stared at the ceiling on our backs wondering what we were. I rolled over to put my arm over his chest and I told him I didn’t know whether to consider myself a virgin or not, and he agreed. It seemed like we were there for a while, but once we were done being weird and upset, we drove to get burritos. We took them home and ate them on my couch watching Dexter. It was dark out by now, and the whole house was unlit aside from the living room we sat in. As he ate, mesmerized by the television, completely satisfied, I just watched him. I wanted to try again. I wasn’t comfortable leaving it how it was. But he never noticed my gaze and I didn’t eat much of my burrito but when he was done with his, he went to the kitchen to throw out his trash and I followed. And the kitchen was mostly dark and I stood close to him. He turned to me, smiled, and lifted me up onto the counter where we kissed some more. And we pulled apart and I shot him the same gaze that showed my longing, but this time he was paying attention. He was standing in the part between my legs and I knew we could try again. He asked, “Do you want to try again?” and I told him I did, but we needed to take it slow. We couldn’t skip foreplay and be too hasty this time. To that, he lifted me off the countertop and carried me to my room, where we took our time preparing ourselves. Because natural light was out of the question now, I turned on the small, Chinese lanterns above my bed, which gave everything an orange glow. And eventually I was nude in the light, as was he, and I saw no imperfections in either of us. I felt like there was nothing wrong. We tried again- this time successfully- and it hurt a little, but only for the first few minutes. My eyes were closed most of the time and I don’t remember whether or not we made a lot of noise, but I remember being blissfully unaware of my surroundings. Of the real world. I forgot anyone else even existed. It was just him above me and that was all I needed. After a while, it was over and he rolled onto his back once again. Hours later, we were in the same position, but feeling completely different about the situation. We didn’t talk about it then. We got dressed, picked up my brother, and walked my dog. But the time came where he had to go before my parents came home as to not raise any suspicions. All I remember was that the night was a little warm and not windy at all. We went out the back door holding hands and I remember him turning to me saying, “I can’t believe it. We aren’t virgins anymore.” I smiled at him and we talked of how happy we were to be together. We kissed and he got in his Jeep to leave. We had planned it, but it was no better or worse than a first time that happens spontaneously. What was important was that I knew I loved him and I knew I could never regret it.

this past week was incredibly stressful and i had no intention of going out and being social on this glorious friday night. but surprisingly, i got a text from a boy that i’m not exactly sure how to classify (i could potentially like him, but then i realize i strongly dislike him 5 seconds after i make myself believe i could potentially like him because he’s so full of it and himself). he asked me if i was home, and if i was busy. we’d hung out before, but not alone. in fact, i wasn’t even sure i knew how to hang out alone with a guy…. i agreed to meet him at a cheap little theater near where we both live and maybe we’d get golden spoon afterwards.. if he didn’t repulse me with his ego.

since boys are the anti-christ to my mother, i crafted a way to get there without any skeptical interrogation. which i pat myself on the back for. without a doubt this “date”, if you could call it that, made me incredibly nervous. a mix of the good nervous and the bad. so my already terrible lying techniques we’re enhanced and i actually have no idea how my mom didn’t know but yolo.

as i walked into the small theater with curtained walls and elderly couples, i notice him sitting to my right. of course i envisioned my night to be fun, but not as great as it was going to be. as we sit and watch the movie for a good twenty minutes, he made ‘the move’. yes, the yawn move. the move in which you always cringe when seen in movies. that move. however, i enjoyed it more than i expected. since i was so exhausted from everything before, i almost drifted off. the movie ended and we didn’t want to move or get up… but we decided it was odd to just be sitting in the theater so we walked outside. at first we were lost for what to do and i figured that the night would end soon and i could finally go to sleep, but then he suggested the rooftop. how he thought of this, i don’t have a clue.

we looked over the edge, and scrambled for words to say. and he put his arm around me again. i didn’t stop it. we played truth or dare… i knew the dare i would get if i picked it, so i obviously chickened out and picked truth. we talked about what we thought of each other, we laughed about how we interrupted a couple having sex on the stairs, we just enjoyed the company of one another. then he turned me around from leaning against the edge and tried to kiss me. i laughed in his face. i could not take that moment seriously! so instead we hugged. it was unlike every meaningless hug i’ve previously experienced. no, this hug was incredible. i felt so small being wrapped in his tall burly physique. it protected me from the cold april winds on the rooftop. i intertwined my hands around his torso and rested my head on his chest…and listened to his quickened heartbeat. he tried kissing me again actually and i laughed in his face for the second time. double whammy. so he put on jazz. louis armstrong jazz. the good kind of jazz. and he taught me to dance. he mentioned how this night was great, and he complimented me. i went middle ground and kissed his cheek. first time missing like a n00b, second time sounded gross and as always, third time was a charm.

even though i could have kissed him…i really didn’t want to. i wanted to just stand there on the rooftop and be enthralled in his arms and be touched by him and doze off into a content slumber.

we danced more to the gentle music, we walked with our hands held and then we repeated. some people would say that it means nothing, but to me… it meant everything. i felt wanted last night. i felt like my life was a movie. a great nickolas sparks movie that every girl hates in the end because its not realistic and there will never be a man like that for you. except nobody died and it was me and sucks for all of you. last night made me realize that this is what being a teenager means. being 17 is the greatest gift the gods could have given us and i intend on living it up to its fullest potential. amen.

My first time, was with my best friend’s older brother. They lived beside my little cousins and sometimes I spent the night with her. After she fell asleep I was gonna go to my cousins and get another shirt to sleep in. Her brother, Dustin, slept in the living room because his room wasn’t finished yet. Long story short, he gave me his shirt so I didn’t have to walk outside in the cold. He asked me for a hug. We kissed, then everything went from there. we had never talked before, I still love him